I can chuckle at this title now, but honestly, I didn’t want to discourage anyone from the message! But the truth was FEAR literary bit me in the ass. ( I thought I was bit in the ass while breaking up the dog fight!) So, the short of the story is that my dogs actually got in a fight, but i was the one whom developed a fear that overrode all my capacity to love, have sex and connect its relationship with money!
Hang on, i’ll get to the connection in a minute – first you needed to see there was a trigger, there always is.
Then there is a dialogue that follows- which is a lying sack of shit.
Finally there is a message deep inside fear that truly only resonates when we MUST stop and take a look at its root. Only then can you make rational decisions based out of love, based out of truth. Then we can move onto loving our lover, having great sex and getting back to making money! (notice i made love first, well i will anyway)
In an instant my ego jumped all over the fear here’s what it said: “Karen you are weak, you didn’t avoid this disaster, it’s your fault, you’re not strong enough to take care of this, you’re not worthy of having a loving weekend, you’re better suited to stay in as a hostage to the situation, let him go, let him go out without you, stay in – be a martyr because you’re not deserving, he works harder than you. Stay here, be alone look in the mirror and see failure, look in the mirror and see age, so my fear see what you’ve created – now own this, own this truth, don’t give love – you don’t deserve it, don’t try to earn a living you don’t deserve it, don’t keep taking time away from him- you don’t deserve it.”
I stayed there all day, all night. I allowed fear to take control, take over truth and give me a beating. Until i spoke up.
I had the conversation with EGO, i looked at it’s language and shut it down. I swam in it’s disgusting view, i ingested it’s poison and slept with it. I ached, cried and fell to my knees with it, until i spoke up.
How- Right? How the hell did I pull out of that one? Well, I called my husband and apologized for the situation over the weekend. I did cave to fear, he didn’t know. I did become a martyr to fear, he didn’t know. I did pass some blame over to him – right? Wasn’t it his fault? Wasn’t he dressed as FEAR!? The illusion as delicate as it was looked fucking real. I blamed him, I was pissed at him and I wanted him to fix it and take it all away. Wasn’t he dressed in FEAR?
No, FEAR is fear all on it’s own – my creation.
FEAR was my trigger, and hook line and sinker i fell to my knees to it.
You see there is history with fear, remember back before we were even born- there was history.
I inherited it. I experienced it. I caved at a weak moment. Until i spoke up.
What gets lodged there in our conscientious doesn’t need to stay submissive, we speak up.
What lies within our subconscious is just waiting to be lived – expressed – explored and loved.
History lies there too. When we learn to tap into our true love, your message of strength, love and abundance lives.
What I know to be real is this; We are all deserving of love, sexy love, and abundance. We all have some triggers that show up and test our capacity to express its divine gifts of intelligence, emotions and truth and yes, money. But if we learn to look at it for what it is, fear as just an experience in the past – it’s not here to take you down; it only thinks it’s protecting you- only then can you tame it back to where it belongs, in the past. 
Be willing to take a leap of faith, trust and a pursuit of happiness to bring your reality alive, and live an abundant life.
Blessings to all whom have fear.
May you experience a far more powerful truth.
Karen